Considerate people, they may not feel happy

2022-07-18 0 By

“Understanding” has always been a compliment.Be kind to others, think what others think, utmost humanistic care.If a person has some grievance in his heart that he wants to talk to others, or some negative emotions that he wants others to help clear up, he will definitely look for a “considerate” person.Because, only considerate people can understand him, can enlightening him, let all the negative emotions disappear.On the surface, “understanding” people are so popular that people want to approach them.It’s just that for “empathetic” people themselves, this kind of popularity isn’t exactly a blessing.Many considerate people are not happy, when people around him (her) poured out bitter water, in fact, his (her) heart is also eroded by this bitter water, considerate at the same time, too much empathy, let oneself into negative emotions, this is a lot of people have experienced.There are limits to understanding, some people deserve sympathy, some people do not deserve sympathy, empathy is a kind of ability, but there is no principle of empathy is abuse, they will suffer.01 Being considerate is not to be a “good old man” too considerate, it is likely to lose themselves.In interpersonal communication, if you always pay too much attention to the happiness and sorrow of others, you may ignore yourself.There is nothing wrong with being sensitive to other people’s emotions. What matters is whether the information you perceive affects your mood and behavior.For example, if you want to do something, but feel that others might not like it, then you don’t do it. If you could have chosen the life path that you like, but feel that it is not expected by others, then you change your choice.Too many people in life do not live out their own, not they do not have ideas, but too understanding.Other people’s ideas always control their own behavior, other people’s emotions always interfere with their own state of mind, always want to get others’ good impression, get others’ praise, the results in this kind of pleasing to understand people you lose yourself.When your friend comes to tell you about his or her pain, instead of staying with him or her in pain, you should lead him or her out of the pain and restore sunshine.Maybe you’ve been in a really good mood today, but your best friend came to you and told you a lot about her troubles, and you got depressed too.People all know, in psychology, empathy is a kind of ability, is to say that a person can truly experience the emotions of others, but many people do not know is, in psychology, there is a kind of ability, called desensitization, is timely from the empathy of the mood of the ability to extricate.If you want to be a considerate person, not only need empathy ability, but also need desensitization ability, really do a strong control of emotions, so as to really make people become happy.03 empathy is limited, don’t overestimate their own responsibility, a lot of people have a kind of complex in the heart, when a friend pour out heart trouble and pain to him, he always want to do something to change the status quo, let friends happy as if was his natural responsibility, if you can’t do anything, but felt a lot of pressure, even blame yourself, this is also a sign of excessive empathy.In fact, friends come to you to tell, not necessarily to ask for your help.Most of the time, they just let off steam, you just need to listen quietly, it is already the biggest help, there is no need to produce psychological pressure for this, what’s more, your excessive empathy may aggravate the negative emotions of friends, so that a small annoyance is magnified by your emotional reaction.Moreover, the real change always depends on yourself, others are actually limited, do not overestimate their influence on others, you no matter how sweat, finally, but also friends out of the mood of the haze, without you, maybe he will become more strong.Conclusion: Don’t let understanding become a pressure, don’t let empathy become a burden.Don’t let other people’s sadness infect you, let your happiness infect them.Empathy should be moderate, but there should also be a limit to empathy, too much of a good thing, empathy rather than abuse, is the true emotional intelligence.(Photo credit network)